Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
