im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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