Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
