erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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