I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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