you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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