I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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