yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
