Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
