so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
