I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
