There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
