I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im holly from the hills drunk
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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