Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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