JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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