elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
