Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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