is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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