You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
