He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
