We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
