My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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