I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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