Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
