My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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