If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
