if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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