I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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