I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We are all done wearing pants today
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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