i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
