Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
