you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
