Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
