i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
