Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
