dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's never too late to be topless.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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