just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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