yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
