dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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