The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
