We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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