Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
