I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
