so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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