now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
