I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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