I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
