woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
please don't ironically join a cult
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