thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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