There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
