I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
